Once Inspired

Archive for the ‘Joke Time’ Category

The Darwin Awards

Yes, it’s that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach , California would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honourable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef’s claim was approved.

I used to watch this on Nickelodeon inbetween shows. It’s brilliant. Dood, the main character, is my hero!
Click here to watch Doodlez cartoons at www.doodlez.tv

Happy Friday

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger  turns to Stevie and says, ‘How’s the singing career going?’

Stevie replies, ‘Not too bad. How’s the golf?’

Woods replies, ‘Not too bad, I’ve had some problems with my swing, but I think I’ve got that right, now.

Stevie says, ‘I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it, hen, the next time I play, it seems to be all right.’

Tiger says, ‘You play GOLF?’

Stevie says, ‘Yes, I’ve been playing for years’.

Tiger says, ‘But — you’re blind! How can you play golf if you can’t see?’

1. More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

Happy Friday… with love

Braai
What is a braai? It is the first thing you will be
invited to when you visit South Africa. A braai is a
backyard barbecue and it will take place whatever
the weather. So you will have to go even if it’s
raining like mad. At a braai you will be introduced
to a substance known as mieliepap.

Ag
This is one of the most useful South African words.
Pronounced like the “ach” in the German “achtung”,
it can be used to start a reply when you are asked a
tricky question, as in: “Ag, I don’t know.” Or a
sense of resignation: “Ag OK, I’ll have some more
mieliepap then.” It can stand alone too as a signal
of irritation.

This is a slight adaptation from a joke I enjoyed. Adaptation specifics: Old Man to Triathlete.

Please laugh – It’s good for you.